not nearly as funny as you'd think.


@sendchocolate on twitter...


Send chocolate, martinis and email to: sendchocolatenow at the GEEmailz.

That's all she wrote.

cheaper than candy

...half as sweet

atsirhc:

I can’t be the only one.

Me, but less profanity because kids in car.

(Source: atsirhciam)

tj:

“Equipment”

The security guard has a camera in his pants?!

awordoraline:

Monday.

“Without realizing it we go from an age where we say, ‘My life will be be that,’ to an age where we say, ‘That’s life.’”

Either…or.

laineydiamond:

mothernaturenetwork:

Are you getting too much sleep? You’re not alone

Getting consistently more than 9 hours of sleep per night is linked to ‘heart disease, thinking problems and premature death.’

Just found out I’m dying.

There is such a thing as too much sleep?! I call shenanigans.

ro-s-aspa-rks:

sunny1:

luckstergal:

bellisadinosaur:

This baby owl hit our window. Gave us this look the whole time - Imgur

YOUR FORCEFIELD DISPLEASES ME

AS DOES YOUR INTERIOR DECORATING

HELP I AM CRY

ROSA!

ASLKDHFDSKAHFD;LSKAHFGDKLS;AGHLKDSHFDL;KSAHFD;LSKHAFGDLSKHG;SAJKDA KLSDHFDSKL;AGHJD;LKGHDSLKAFH!!!!

(Source: ryulongd)

pocketcontents:

nprfreshair:

Our kind of convention: the 19th-annual convention of the Association of Lincoln Presenters.

Amusing Planet:

“We’re presenters. We’re not impersonators, necessarily.” 

Helloooo, Monday.

I hope they avoid theatres.

This is not okay.

(Source: thinksquad, via pocketcontents)

illuminators:

ofdarklands:

browneyedcunt:

jillstrif:

Kell fell asleep on the couch one night so we gave him a pillow and a blanket Which we made out of kleenex because we always have those around on our coffee table for when we watch feely stuff

MY HEART

doesn’t even go with my blog but i can’t scroll past this without regretting not reblogging it.

#how does a cat with a kleenex pillow ‘not go with your blog’#what the fuck are you doing with your life

it’s like a kitty sleeping beauty

This is too adorable not to reblog.

(Source: 9percentmilk, via repertoryofdeceit)

thefrogman:

Anything about Nothing by Kelly Angel [website | tumblr | twitter]

(via ro-s-aspa-rks)

#thehobbit in hfr of course. Midnight. And cooooooooold.

So this is happening… #thehobbit

Someone is really ticket that I turned the TV off.

I know it’s supposed to be easy, but if you cannot manage a grilled PB&J maybe you should stay out of the kitchen?? #recipeonbreadwrapper